Part 2: SELF-CONTROL: It is Caught More than Taught.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 (HCSB)
Perhaps the greatest thing that a parent can do for his or her children is to say no. Children may not like to hear that word, but they soon learn, one of the ways parents communicate love is by saying “no”. It is the primary task of each and every parent to protect their children from harm. The danger may be perceived or unperceived. It may be immediate or potential. Regardless of the details, it’s the parent’s job to protect their children from others, other things, even themselves.
This is where self-control comes into the picture. Lack of self-control will place our children into a multitude of immediate and delayed dangers. The obvious dangers involve things like financial harm, poor health, over (or under) weight, chemical abuse, harmful relationships, and a long list of addictions.
God does the same thing in our lives. He says “no” to lots of things we think are ok or even good for us. For example, we apply for a new job or position. To us this might seem like the right thing to do, but God closes the door. Maybe we decide to purchase a car. The price is right, the vehicle is in good shape, there is no Biblical reason preventing us from this deal. Again, God says no, we don’t know why, but He does. Sometimes He will tell us later why He said no, sometimes He never tells us.
Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has actually resulted in the advancement of the gospel, Philippians 1:12 (HCSB)
Wise parents are always trying to teach their children when to say no, but in truth the lessons of self-control must begin with the parents. When parents demonstrate the ability to say no to their own wants, they communicate the value of self-control to their children. If children are to learn to understand restraint, then parents need to prove that they can and will say no to immediate gratification.
Remember:
The values parents demonstrate are the values that will be caught and developed in the lives of their children. Self-control is not limited to fits of anger. It includes our language, our passions, our priorities, and our purchases. Children will imitate their parents in how they treat people, the church, and God.
For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 2 Peter 1:5-7 (HCSB)
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Monday, July 16, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
PARENTING TIPS FROM A SURVIVOR
Part 1: IMITATION: Be An Good Example
An old experienced college professor once taught me that as a football coach, “It is never an excuse to say, 'I told him!'” What am I trying to illustrate? Telling children to develop or not to develop certain behaviors is a waste of good air (as a SCUBA diver, I value air very much).
If we want our children to become good citizens and devoted Christians, we have to do more than just tell. The biblical model for parenting doesn’t focus on what we are to “tell our children” but rather it focuses on what we are to “teach our children.”(see: Dt 4:9; Dt 11:19; Ps 34:11; Ps 78:5).
Teaching involves several steps. The first step is demonstrating a desired behavior or value. Secondly, it involves getting the student to imitate that action. Then as the student performs the action, the teacher encourages, corrects, and compliments the student's performance. In simpler words, parents demonstrate and get children to imitate.
Here is a good definition I learned from another wise college professor, “Learning takes place when reflective thinking is present and improved behavior is forthcoming.” It is the job of a parent to guide our children to reflect on their actions and evaluate outcomes.
Children are programed to be imitators and their preference is to imitate their parents (see: Ephesians 5:1). There is no choice here. Parents will either be a positive role model or a negative role model, but either way, they will be role models. Lets embrace the office of role model that has been given to us and be positive examples of what good parenting should be!
Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise. Ephesians 5:15 (HCSB)
Parents are to live out our lives as an example to follow. The old “do as I say, not as I do” approach simply will not work. As parents (note parents, not “best friends”) we need to interact with our children by correcting, encouraging, acknowledging or praising their actions(whichever is appropriate). Basically, if we want our children to attend church, to volunteer, to be polite, to be obedient, to be safe drivers, etc., then WE HAVE TO BE THOSE THINGS FIRST!
Set an example of good works yourself, with integrity and dignity in your teaching. Titus 2:7 (HCSB)
Children need our encouragement if they are to meet the challenges of life and mature into healthy Christian adults.
An old experienced college professor once taught me that as a football coach, “It is never an excuse to say, 'I told him!'” What am I trying to illustrate? Telling children to develop or not to develop certain behaviors is a waste of good air (as a SCUBA diver, I value air very much).
If we want our children to become good citizens and devoted Christians, we have to do more than just tell. The biblical model for parenting doesn’t focus on what we are to “tell our children” but rather it focuses on what we are to “teach our children.”(see: Dt 4:9; Dt 11:19; Ps 34:11; Ps 78:5).
Teaching involves several steps. The first step is demonstrating a desired behavior or value. Secondly, it involves getting the student to imitate that action. Then as the student performs the action, the teacher encourages, corrects, and compliments the student's performance. In simpler words, parents demonstrate and get children to imitate.
Here is a good definition I learned from another wise college professor, “Learning takes place when reflective thinking is present and improved behavior is forthcoming.” It is the job of a parent to guide our children to reflect on their actions and evaluate outcomes.
Children are programed to be imitators and their preference is to imitate their parents (see: Ephesians 5:1). There is no choice here. Parents will either be a positive role model or a negative role model, but either way, they will be role models. Lets embrace the office of role model that has been given to us and be positive examples of what good parenting should be!
Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise. Ephesians 5:15 (HCSB)
Parents are to live out our lives as an example to follow. The old “do as I say, not as I do” approach simply will not work. As parents (note parents, not “best friends”) we need to interact with our children by correcting, encouraging, acknowledging or praising their actions(whichever is appropriate). Basically, if we want our children to attend church, to volunteer, to be polite, to be obedient, to be safe drivers, etc., then WE HAVE TO BE THOSE THINGS FIRST!
Set an example of good works yourself, with integrity and dignity in your teaching. Titus 2:7 (HCSB)
Children need our encouragement if they are to meet the challenges of life and mature into healthy Christian adults.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
FIVE WAYS TO BE A BETTER FATHER
There is a crisis in our culture! A crisis that has been created by and can only be cured by men.
Many of the problems we have in our society can be directly attributed to the failure of men to live a life worthy of imitation. Too many biological fathers are absent from the lives of their children. There are those who pay support and maintain some level of interaction with their children, but only to the point where it is convenient for the father. Selfishness rules in the lives of many of us (both male and female).
In recent years, (actually beginning in the 90's with “Beavis and Butthead”), the trend in television has been to portray parents as idiots and children as the most together members of a family (as evidenced by “The Simpsons”, “Married with Children” and “Family Guy” among others).
The unity of the American family, those morals and values learned in family dynamics are foundational to the strength of our nation. Many men understand the importance of family and the critical role a father plays in a family as a role model. I especially admire those step-dads who are willing to step up and take on that daunting task.
1. LOVE YOUR WIFE PASSIONATELY .
The way a man treats his wife has a direct bearing on how his son will treat his future wife and the way a daughter will expect to be treated by her future husband. Men need to let their children see them demonstrating respect and love to their wife and mother of their children.
Also, keep children out of the battle when conflicts arise. At the same time allow them to see their parents make up. There is nothing wrong with kisses in the kitchen as long as it remains rated G.
2. MAKE FAMILY A PRIORITY
Children measure their value by the amount of time and attention their parents spend with them.
Our employers can be demanding and in today’s economy employment opportunities are limited.
The more demanding a job becomes, the higher priority we need to place on spending time with my family. Our schedules don’t lie. The things that I think are important are the things I spend the most time doing. Plan to spend time with your children. Pay the price to be at their performance or game.
I mentioned in the opening paragraph that selfishness has become epidemic in our society. It is this area, making my family a priority, where selfishness attacks the most. We are physically tired at the end of our week. We are mentally drained each evening. It’s hard to pay the appropriate amount of attention to our spouse and children. To win against the “selfishness monster” we need to place a higher priority on family activities than on me. As a person with two adult children I can attest there is plenty of time for me now that they are gone. Unfortunately, it’s time with them I desire.
3. DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN.
Discipline is one of the ways a father can communicate his love to his children. Here is what the Bible has to say about discipline and love:
Many of the problems we have in our society can be directly attributed to the failure of men to live a life worthy of imitation. Too many biological fathers are absent from the lives of their children. There are those who pay support and maintain some level of interaction with their children, but only to the point where it is convenient for the father. Selfishness rules in the lives of many of us (both male and female).
In recent years, (actually beginning in the 90's with “Beavis and Butthead”), the trend in television has been to portray parents as idiots and children as the most together members of a family (as evidenced by “The Simpsons”, “Married with Children” and “Family Guy” among others).
The unity of the American family, those morals and values learned in family dynamics are foundational to the strength of our nation. Many men understand the importance of family and the critical role a father plays in a family as a role model. I especially admire those step-dads who are willing to step up and take on that daunting task.
1. LOVE YOUR WIFE PASSIONATELY .
The way a man treats his wife has a direct bearing on how his son will treat his future wife and the way a daughter will expect to be treated by her future husband. Men need to let their children see them demonstrating respect and love to their wife and mother of their children.
Also, keep children out of the battle when conflicts arise. At the same time allow them to see their parents make up. There is nothing wrong with kisses in the kitchen as long as it remains rated G.
2. MAKE FAMILY A PRIORITY
Children measure their value by the amount of time and attention their parents spend with them.
Our employers can be demanding and in today’s economy employment opportunities are limited.
The more demanding a job becomes, the higher priority we need to place on spending time with my family. Our schedules don’t lie. The things that I think are important are the things I spend the most time doing. Plan to spend time with your children. Pay the price to be at their performance or game.
I mentioned in the opening paragraph that selfishness has become epidemic in our society. It is this area, making my family a priority, where selfishness attacks the most. We are physically tired at the end of our week. We are mentally drained each evening. It’s hard to pay the appropriate amount of attention to our spouse and children. To win against the “selfishness monster” we need to place a higher priority on family activities than on me. As a person with two adult children I can attest there is plenty of time for me now that they are gone. Unfortunately, it’s time with them I desire.
3. DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN.
Discipline is one of the ways a father can communicate his love to his children. Here is what the Bible has to say about discipline and love:
for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, just as a father, the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:12 (HCSB)
and
for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and punishes every son whom He receives. Hebrews 12:6 (HCSB)
Discipline doesn’t have to involve physical pain, but it does have to demonstrate consequences to disobedience. The best discipline will involve character development. It is unwise to discipline a child out of anger. Take time to reflect on the offense and an appropriate response to their actions. Take the time to tell your children that when their privileges are taken away or when they have to be spanked, you are not trying to torment them. Remember, the purpose of discipline is for training and correction.
And fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 (HCSB)
4. BE AN ENCOURAGER
In the quarter of a century that I worked with teens, the biggest difference I notice among them was between those whose parents encouraged them and those whose parents ignored them. A father’s encouragement cannot be replaced by any other source. Dads in particular have a powerful impact on their children by giving or not giving appropriate praise.
As I’m writing this section, I’m reminded of a situation that occurred while I was coaching football for a living. One of my players was on the phone in my office and I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation as the boy asked his dad if he would be at the game that night. I remember the boy pleading, “But Dad, I’m starting tonight!” Here was one of the great moments of this young man’s short life and his father wasn’t going to be there to share it. There were other games, the player was good and played often throughout the rest of the season, but his father would never get that moment back.
5. BE A MAN OF INTEGRITY
In the quarter of a century that I worked with teens, the biggest difference I notice among them was between those whose parents encouraged them and those whose parents ignored them. A father’s encouragement cannot be replaced by any other source. Dads in particular have a powerful impact on their children by giving or not giving appropriate praise.
As I’m writing this section, I’m reminded of a situation that occurred while I was coaching football for a living. One of my players was on the phone in my office and I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation as the boy asked his dad if he would be at the game that night. I remember the boy pleading, “But Dad, I’m starting tonight!” Here was one of the great moments of this young man’s short life and his father wasn’t going to be there to share it. There were other games, the player was good and played often throughout the rest of the season, but his father would never get that moment back.
5. BE A MAN OF INTEGRITY
But let your word ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no.’ Anything more than this is from the evil one. Matthew 5:37 (HCSB)
Be a promise maker and a promise keeper. Also, men need to walk their talk. Our children see who we are behind closed doors and in public. What kind of example am I setting if I correct my child for stealing but bring packages of copy paper or ink cartridges home from work. Anything said about kindness and caring won't count in our children's eyes if they see us treating others badly.
FINAL NOTE:
With Father's Day happening this weekend, I want to say that my Dad is all of these things.
Thanks Dad for being a GREAT FATHER!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
LEGACY
leg·a·cy – something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past.
At some point in life each person has or will reflect on his or her impact in this world. Perhaps the first time is at high school graduation. We see the end of high school, a time best described as the best of time and the worst of time, approaching and begin to reflect on those years perhaps wondering what difference did it make.
In the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life”, the main character George Bailey gets a view of what the world had been like if he had never been born. George is given an opportunity to see the positive impact his young life has had on the people of an entire town. There is one scene where George has discovered his brother Harry's tombstone:
What a great gift it would be for each of us to see the positive impact our life has had so far. At the same time, it might be a bit of a curse. After all there are those of us who’s impact would have to be an established series. Unfortunately, there are others of us whose impact would barley fill a commercial.
I have an aunt who will celebrate her 89th birthday this Saturday, unfortunately I can’t be there. She has and is continuing to build her legacy. When my father was ten, his father died. Circumstances required my father to live with several relatives. Soon after my Aunt Gladys married my father went to live with her. Later after my brother, sister and I were born, my parents would not only take us to visit Aunt Gladys, but we were allowed to visit for a week or two every summer.
There are so many wonderful stories that testify to the faith in God that anchored the lives of my aunt and uncle that they cannot all be told in one sitting. My personal favorite is every night Aunt Gladys would gather all of us together and we would read from the Bible. After finishing the chapter or story she would then help us to understand the thing(s) God was teaching us through this piece of Scripture.
I am convinced that a big part of my being a Christian, even becoming a pastor, comes from the Godly influence Aunt Gladys has had and is presently having on my life! Through me she is impacting people she doesn't know and will most probably never meet on this side of Heaven.
Here’s the short of all of this. Aunt Gladys passed on her faith to her children, who then passed it on to their spouses and their children. Those children (Aunt Gladys’ great grand children in case you are having trouble keeping up) are passing that same faith on to their spouses and to their children also. But that’s not all! Aunt Gladys passed her faith on to my father, my siblings and myself. We in turn are passing that same faith and influence on to our children. There is still more! There were ten children in the Foxworth clan. That makes for a lot of cousins. To my knowledge every one of those cousins spent time with Aunt Gladys and her faith in God was passed on to each of them too! What a legacy!
So, take time to day to reflect on your legacy?
Ask: “Am I living a life that points people to Jesus or away from Him?”
“What will be my legacy?”
Hopefully my legacy will be more than a statue in a park, a name on the side of a building, or the dash between two dates on a grave marker.
In the words of Clarence from “It’s A Wonderful Life”, “Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?”
At some point in life each person has or will reflect on his or her impact in this world. Perhaps the first time is at high school graduation. We see the end of high school, a time best described as the best of time and the worst of time, approaching and begin to reflect on those years perhaps wondering what difference did it make.
In the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life”, the main character George Bailey gets a view of what the world had been like if he had never been born. George is given an opportunity to see the positive impact his young life has had on the people of an entire town. There is one scene where George has discovered his brother Harry's tombstone:
George's life even impacted people that he didn't know and had never met.Clarence: [explaining] Your brother, Harry Bailey, broke through the ice and was drowned at the age of nine.
George Bailey: That's a lie! Harry Bailey went to war! He got the Congressional Medal of Honor! He saved the lives of every man on that transport!
Clarence: Every man on that transport died. Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry.
What a great gift it would be for each of us to see the positive impact our life has had so far. At the same time, it might be a bit of a curse. After all there are those of us who’s impact would have to be an established series. Unfortunately, there are others of us whose impact would barley fill a commercial.
I have an aunt who will celebrate her 89th birthday this Saturday, unfortunately I can’t be there. She has and is continuing to build her legacy. When my father was ten, his father died. Circumstances required my father to live with several relatives. Soon after my Aunt Gladys married my father went to live with her. Later after my brother, sister and I were born, my parents would not only take us to visit Aunt Gladys, but we were allowed to visit for a week or two every summer.
There are so many wonderful stories that testify to the faith in God that anchored the lives of my aunt and uncle that they cannot all be told in one sitting. My personal favorite is every night Aunt Gladys would gather all of us together and we would read from the Bible. After finishing the chapter or story she would then help us to understand the thing(s) God was teaching us through this piece of Scripture.
I am convinced that a big part of my being a Christian, even becoming a pastor, comes from the Godly influence Aunt Gladys has had and is presently having on my life! Through me she is impacting people she doesn't know and will most probably never meet on this side of Heaven.
Here’s the short of all of this. Aunt Gladys passed on her faith to her children, who then passed it on to their spouses and their children. Those children (Aunt Gladys’ great grand children in case you are having trouble keeping up) are passing that same faith on to their spouses and to their children also. But that’s not all! Aunt Gladys passed her faith on to my father, my siblings and myself. We in turn are passing that same faith and influence on to our children. There is still more! There were ten children in the Foxworth clan. That makes for a lot of cousins. To my knowledge every one of those cousins spent time with Aunt Gladys and her faith in God was passed on to each of them too! What a legacy!
So, take time to day to reflect on your legacy?
Ask: “Am I living a life that points people to Jesus or away from Him?”
“What will be my legacy?”
Hopefully my legacy will be more than a statue in a park, a name on the side of a building, or the dash between two dates on a grave marker.
In the words of Clarence from “It’s A Wonderful Life”, “Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?”
Saturday, May 26, 2012
HELPING PEOPLE DEVELOP A MEANINGFUL LIFE
NUMBER 5:
PEOPLE ARE MADE FOR A MISSION (final part, AMEN)
Do you think any one of the people you know would be encouraged to know that God created him or her for a specific mission here on Earth? It’s true! God’s fifth reason for creating us is for a mission. Jesus is quoted in the Gospel of John as saying,
"As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.” John 17:18 (NASB)Every believer has two missions, one to fellow believers, the other to unbelievers. Actually it is more like a MINISTRY to believers, and a MISSION to unbelievers. It is not hard for us to do both, serving believers and helping unbelievers. The truth is most people are far more receptive to hearing the gospel from a friend than a stranger. That means our relationship with an unbeliever caries more value than our fame in this world. Put simply, “People don’t care how much you know. They want to know how much you care.” This gives the average Christian an incredible opportunity for ministry and mission.
Each of us play a crucial role in helping the people around us to develop this sense of mission in their lives. One thing we can do is to help others see what mission God has planned for their lives. This doesn’t mean we have to be able to read tea leaves or someone’s palm, then declare to them the specific plan God has for their life. Indeed not! Rather, our role is to encourage and guide others around us. God says this very activity (performing our ministry and mission) is one of the reasons why HE gives us the Bible.
God uses it [the Bible] to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.The hardest thing is for us to be living examples of what we say we believe. What does it say to the world when we endorse one thing, but never use it. For example, what are we saying to the world when we say, I believe in eating healthy as I’m chewing on a chocolate candy? Get my point. Here is what the Apostle Paul had to say about this:
2 Timothy 3:17 (NLT)
let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained. Brethren, join in following my example, and observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us. Philippians 3:16-17 (NASB)
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
HELPING PEOPLE DEVELOP A MEANINGFUL LIFE (part 3)
People are created to be like Christ
Let’s review: Part 1 is: We were planned for God’s pleasure, and that’s called worship. Part 2 is: We Find Meaning in Community, that’s called relationships or fellowship.
Now, there’s a third reason God made us. He created each one of us to be like Christ, and we call that discipleship. God works in our lives to transform us into the likeness of his Son, Jesus Christ.
The Bible says in Romans 8:29 (HCSB)
For those He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers.
We need to have a clear understanding that Jesus was not an accident. His birth and our lives are all part of God’s original plan. God still working the same plan today that He has had from the very beginning of time.
God’s plan needs to become our plan -- immediately! Our goal needs to be to help the people around us to become more and more like Christ. Part of the process is helping them understand how God is going to take them through everything that happens in their life. Just as Jesus went through joy we too will experience joy. Just like he went through sorrow, we too will experience sorrow.
Was there a time when Jesus was lonely? Yes.
Was there a time when Jesus was tempted? Yes.
Was there a time when Jesus was unpopular? Yes.
Misunderstood? Yes.
Criticized? Yes.
Went without basic needs? Yes.
Was there ever a time in Jesus’ life when things left him uncomfortable? Absolutely.
Our lives are filled with all these problems and too many more to list here. We need to remember God is not only in control, but He is right there with us in our Joys and our sorrows. Only then can they truly become like Jesus. Perhaps Corrie Ten Boom said it best when she wrote:
“No pit is so deep that He is not deeper still; with Jesus even in our darkest moments, the best remains and the very best is yet to be.”
The Bible also says that other people are able to see God at work through our own suffering.
“It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. John 9:3 (NLT)
In order to produce the fruit of the Spirit in us, God will place us in difficult situations, surrounded by people who don’t like us, won’t try to understand us and often will treat us unfairly. Our faithfulness through trials will help others to see their problems from God’s
perspective and will help them submit to his sovereign hand as he works to make them more like Christ.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
HELPING PEOPLE DEVELOP A MEANINGFUL LIFE (part 2)
NUMBER 2:
We Were Created to Communicate the Truth.
The second thing that gives a person’s life meaning is to have a mission. In the Star Trek series, the Enterprise was on a mission “to go where no one had gone before.” In Swamp people the mission is about catching ‘gators. Even the Blues Brothers were “On a mission from God.” Someone might think or even say, “Well, that’s just entertainment.” Perhaps, but even in history there are examples of the importance of having a mission. Phrases like “No taxation without representation” and “Remember the Alamo” were rallying cries calling people to a common mission. Having a mission gives meaning to our lives. God’s second reason for creating us is for mission.
We Were Created to Communicate the Truth.
The second thing that gives a person’s life meaning is to have a mission. In the Star Trek series, the Enterprise was on a mission “to go where no one had gone before.” In Swamp people the mission is about catching ‘gators. Even the Blues Brothers were “On a mission from God.” Someone might think or even say, “Well, that’s just entertainment.” Perhaps, but even in history there are examples of the importance of having a mission. Phrases like “No taxation without representation” and “Remember the Alamo” were rallying cries calling people to a common mission. Having a mission gives meaning to our lives. God’s second reason for creating us is for mission.
We all have a mission. Like the Mission Impossible task force we can choose to accept it or not. The difference is the mission we have is one that gives our lives meaning. Our mission is to tell unbelievers about God and to encourage believers in God.
God said to Moses,
and you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.' These are the words that you shall speak to the sons of Israel." Exodus 19:6 (NASB)
and Jesus said to the disciples,
Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you.”
Matthew 28:19-20 (HCSB)
Every believer should have a ministry to believers, and a mission to unbelievers. It is not hard for people to do both. One possible way to accomplish both is to involve the entire family by going on a mission trip together.
Studies show most people who come to Christ -- at least in the United States -- come to him before they turn eighteen . Other studies show people are far more receptive to hearing the gospel from a friend than a stranger. This combination gives Christian families an incredible opportunity for ministry and mission.
We all play a crucial role -- if not the most critical -- in helping people develop this sense of mission in their lives. We have the power, more than that, we have the mission to begin building into the lives of people a strong sense of how God created each of them for a mission.
Studies show most people who come to Christ -- at least in the United States -- come to him before they turn eighteen . Other studies show people are far more receptive to hearing the gospel from a friend than a stranger. This combination gives Christian families an incredible opportunity for ministry and mission.
We all play a crucial role -- if not the most critical -- in helping people develop this sense of mission in their lives. We have the power, more than that, we have the mission to begin building into the lives of people a strong sense of how God created each of them for a mission.
Monday, April 2, 2012
TEEN CRISIS INTERVENTION (part 2)
Three Reasons to Help a Teen in Crisis
Now when Job’s three friends...heard about all this adversity that had happened to him, each of them came from his home. They met together to go and offer sympathy and comfort to him. Job 2:11 (HCSB)
1. When I was hurting God provided someone to help me.
Everyone of us has gone through or is presently going through a time of crisis. (Personally my teen and college years were one crisis after another.) Each time we experience a crisis God puts not only one, but usually several people, in our lives to be there for us. This includes the Holy Spirit!
While I do not recommend the movie Pay it Forward (because of the excessive foul language) I do recommend the philosophy. Someone was there for me, so I should be there for someone else.
Ignoring a person in crisis is equal to ignoring a person drowning in a pool. Most people describe their crisis as feeling like they are drowning. Job was in a crisis greater than most of us can imagine, he lost his property, his children, and his health. But he still had three good friends who were there for him.
2. When I needed someone no one but God helped me.
This reason is the opposing cause with the same result as the reason above. Perhaps you experienced a life crisis alone (this never happens for believers because the Holy Spirit is always with us). You know how hard it is to survive a crisis. Surviving a crisis, either alone or with friends, highlights the importance of having a friend(s) to lean on and to provide that extra help to those in crisis.
Choose to be that person for someone else. Job’s friends weren’t there by accident, even Jesus sought comfort and support from his friends while he was experiencing his crisis in the garden the night before his death (Mt. 26:38).
3. God is giving me an opportunity to participate in HIS work.
Each one of us has been commanded by God to love God and love people (Mt. . Part of loving God is to love the things HE loves, that includes people. Part of loving people is helping each other through various crises we experience in life. There is a word we use for this, it’s discipleship.
God not only directs us, but HE also empowers us to help each other. THIS DOESN’T MEAN WE ARE TO BECOME "THE SPIRITUAL ANSWER MAN." I am convinced the best answer to helping those in crisis is, “I don’t know, but lets find out together.”
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners; To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3 (NASB)
Now when Job’s three friends...heard about all this adversity that had happened to him, each of them came from his home. They met together to go and offer sympathy and comfort to him. Job 2:11 (HCSB)
1. When I was hurting God provided someone to help me.
Everyone of us has gone through or is presently going through a time of crisis. (Personally my teen and college years were one crisis after another.) Each time we experience a crisis God puts not only one, but usually several people, in our lives to be there for us. This includes the Holy Spirit!
While I do not recommend the movie Pay it Forward (because of the excessive foul language) I do recommend the philosophy. Someone was there for me, so I should be there for someone else.
Ignoring a person in crisis is equal to ignoring a person drowning in a pool. Most people describe their crisis as feeling like they are drowning. Job was in a crisis greater than most of us can imagine, he lost his property, his children, and his health. But he still had three good friends who were there for him.
2. When I needed someone no one but God helped me.
This reason is the opposing cause with the same result as the reason above. Perhaps you experienced a life crisis alone (this never happens for believers because the Holy Spirit is always with us). You know how hard it is to survive a crisis. Surviving a crisis, either alone or with friends, highlights the importance of having a friend(s) to lean on and to provide that extra help to those in crisis.
Choose to be that person for someone else. Job’s friends weren’t there by accident, even Jesus sought comfort and support from his friends while he was experiencing his crisis in the garden the night before his death (Mt. 26:38).
3. God is giving me an opportunity to participate in HIS work.
Each one of us has been commanded by God to love God and love people (Mt. . Part of loving God is to love the things HE loves, that includes people. Part of loving people is helping each other through various crises we experience in life. There is a word we use for this, it’s discipleship.
God not only directs us, but HE also empowers us to help each other. THIS DOESN’T MEAN WE ARE TO BECOME "THE SPIRITUAL ANSWER MAN." I am convinced the best answer to helping those in crisis is, “I don’t know, but lets find out together.”
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners; To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3 (NASB)
Thursday, March 22, 2012
TEEN CRISIS INTERVENTION (pt. 1)
Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" And he said, "I do not know. Am I my brother's keeper?" Genesis 4:9 (NASB)
(note: For the purposes of this series of posts, the terms parent and step-parent are interchangeable)
I am convinced the correct answer to Cane’s question is a resounding “YES!” If we take time to reason out the complete meaning of “Loving God and Loving People” then we conclude that loving God means caring for (Gen. 2:15) God’s creation and loving the things HE loves. Loving people, means we take an active role in helping and protecting each other. This brings us to Cane’s question and my response to that question. When people are in crisis, either physical, spiritual, or emotional, the loving response is to intervene.
The age group at greatest risk today is that group between the ages of 11 to 25. The key ingredient in crisis intervention for this age group is loving parents.
Intervention (or in Cane’s words, “becoming my brother’s keeper”) cannot be left up to parents alone. There are too many angles of attack for parents to handle the battle alone. A battle that often overwhelms single parents. The battle against self destruction requires other adults to work along side of parents toward protecting students from the messages of self-destruction that appear to be bombarding teens daily. In short, crisis intervention involves Christian adults battling the cultural forces that make destructive solutions attractive to troubled teens.
Teens in crisis will only get the intervention they need when adults acknowledge that a crisis exists.
(note: For the purposes of this series of posts, the terms parent and step-parent are interchangeable)
I am convinced the correct answer to Cane’s question is a resounding “YES!” If we take time to reason out the complete meaning of “Loving God and Loving People” then we conclude that loving God means caring for (Gen. 2:15) God’s creation and loving the things HE loves. Loving people, means we take an active role in helping and protecting each other. This brings us to Cane’s question and my response to that question. When people are in crisis, either physical, spiritual, or emotional, the loving response is to intervene.
The age group at greatest risk today is that group between the ages of 11 to 25. The key ingredient in crisis intervention for this age group is loving parents.
Intervention (or in Cane’s words, “becoming my brother’s keeper”) cannot be left up to parents alone. There are too many angles of attack for parents to handle the battle alone. A battle that often overwhelms single parents. The battle against self destruction requires other adults to work along side of parents toward protecting students from the messages of self-destruction that appear to be bombarding teens daily. In short, crisis intervention involves Christian adults battling the cultural forces that make destructive solutions attractive to troubled teens.
Teens in crisis will only get the intervention they need when adults acknowledge that a crisis exists.
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