PARENTING TIPS FROM A SURVIVOR - 2

Part 2: SELF-CONTROL: It is Caught More than Taught.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 (HCSB)

Perhaps the greatest thing that a parent can do for his or her children is to say no. Children may not like to hear that word, but they soon learn, one of the ways parents communicate love is by saying “no”.  It is the primary task of each and every parent to protect their children from harm.  The danger may be perceived or unperceived.  It may be immediate or potential.  Regardless of the details, it’s the parent’s job to protect their children from others, other things, even themselves.

This is where self-control comes into the picture. Lack of self-control will place our children into a multitude of immediate and delayed dangers. The obvious dangers involve things like financial harm, poor health, over (or under) weight, chemical abuse, harmful relationships, and a long list of addictions. 

God does the same thing in our lives.  He says “no” to lots of things we think are ok or even good for us. For example, we apply for a new job or position.  To us this might seem like the right thing to do, but God closes the door.  Maybe we decide to purchase a car.  The price is right, the vehicle is in good shape, there is no Biblical reason preventing us from this deal.  Again, God says no, we don’t know why, but He does.  Sometimes He will tell us later why He said no, sometimes He never tells us. 

Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has actually resulted in the advancement of the gospel, Philippians 1:12 (HCSB)

Wise parents are always trying to teach their children when to say no, but in truth the lessons of self-control must begin with the parents.  When parents demonstrate the ability to say no to their own wants, they communicate the value of self-control to their children.  If children are to learn to understand restraint, then parents need to prove that they can and will say no to immediate gratification. 

Remember:
The values parents demonstrate are the values that will be caught and developed in the lives of their children. Self-control is not limited to fits of anger.  It includes our language, our passions, our priorities, and our purchases. Children will imitate their parents in how they treat people, the church, and God. 

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 2 Peter 1:5-7 (HCSB)