PARENTING TIPS FROM A SURVIVOR

Part 1: IMITATION: Be An Good Example

An old experienced college professor once taught me that as a football coach, “It is never an excuse to say, 'I told him!'”  What am I trying to illustrate? Telling children to develop or not to develop certain behaviors is a waste of good air (as a SCUBA diver, I value air very much).

If we want our children to become good citizens and devoted Christians, we have to do more than just tell. The biblical model for parenting doesn’t focus on what we are to “tell our children” but rather it focuses on what we are to “teach our children.”(see: Dt 4:9;  Dt 11:19; Ps 34:11; Ps 78:5).

Teaching involves several steps.  The first step is demonstrating a desired behavior or value.  Secondly, it involves getting the student to imitate that action.  Then as the student performs the action, the teacher encourages, corrects, and compliments the student's performance.  In simpler words, parents demonstrate and get children to imitate.

Here is a good definition I learned from another wise college professor, “Learning takes place when reflective thinking is present and improved behavior is forthcoming.” It is the job of a parent to guide our children to reflect on their actions and evaluate outcomes. 

Children are programed to be imitators and their preference is to imitate their parents (see: Ephesians 5:1).  There is no choice here.  Parents will either be a positive role model or a negative role model, but either way, they will be role models. Lets embrace the office of role model that has been given to us and be positive examples of what good parenting should be!

Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise. Ephesians 5:15 (HCSB)

Parents are to live out our lives as an example to follow.  The old “do as I say, not as I do” approach simply will not work.  As parents (note parents, not “best friends”) we need to interact with our children by correcting, encouraging, acknowledging or praising their actions(whichever is appropriate).  Basically, if we want our children to attend church, to volunteer, to be polite, to be obedient, to be safe drivers, etc., then WE HAVE TO BE THOSE THINGS FIRST!           

Set an example of good works yourself, with integrity and dignity in your teaching. Titus 2:7 (HCSB)

Children need our encouragement if they are to meet the challenges of life and mature into healthy Christian adults.