There is a crisis in our culture! A crisis that has been created by and can only be cured by men.
Many of the problems we have in our society can be directly attributed to the failure of men to live a life worthy of imitation. Too many biological fathers are absent from the lives of their children. There are those who pay support and maintain some level of interaction with their children, but only to the point where it is convenient for the father. Selfishness rules in the lives of many of us (both male and female).
In recent years, (actually beginning in the 90's with “Beavis and Butthead”), the trend in television has been to portray parents as idiots and children as the most together members of a family (as evidenced by “The Simpsons”, “Married with Children” and “Family Guy” among others).
The unity of the American family, those morals and values learned in family dynamics are foundational to the strength of our nation. Many men understand the importance of family and the critical role a father plays in a family as a role model. I especially admire those step-dads who are willing to step up and take on that daunting task.
1. LOVE YOUR WIFE PASSIONATELY .
The way a man treats his wife has a direct bearing on how his son will treat his future wife and the way a daughter will expect to be treated by her future husband. Men need to let their children see them demonstrating respect and love to their wife and mother of their children.
Also, keep children out of the battle when conflicts arise. At the same time allow them to see their parents make up. There is nothing wrong with kisses in the kitchen as long as it remains rated G.
2. MAKE FAMILY A PRIORITY
Children measure their value by the amount of time and attention their parents spend with them.
Our employers can be demanding and in today’s economy employment opportunities are limited.
The more demanding a job becomes, the higher priority we need to place on spending time with my family. Our schedules don’t lie. The things that I think are important are the things I spend the most time doing. Plan to spend time with your children. Pay the price to be at their performance or game.
I mentioned in the opening paragraph that selfishness has become epidemic in our society. It is this area, making my family a priority, where selfishness attacks the most. We are physically tired at the end of our week. We are mentally drained each evening. It’s hard to pay the appropriate amount of attention to our spouse and children. To win against the “selfishness monster” we need to place a higher priority on family activities than on me. As a person with two adult children I can attest there is plenty of time for me now that they are gone. Unfortunately, it’s time with them I desire.
3. DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN.
Discipline is one of the ways a father can communicate his love to his children. Here is what the Bible has to say about discipline and love:
Many of the problems we have in our society can be directly attributed to the failure of men to live a life worthy of imitation. Too many biological fathers are absent from the lives of their children. There are those who pay support and maintain some level of interaction with their children, but only to the point where it is convenient for the father. Selfishness rules in the lives of many of us (both male and female).
In recent years, (actually beginning in the 90's with “Beavis and Butthead”), the trend in television has been to portray parents as idiots and children as the most together members of a family (as evidenced by “The Simpsons”, “Married with Children” and “Family Guy” among others).
The unity of the American family, those morals and values learned in family dynamics are foundational to the strength of our nation. Many men understand the importance of family and the critical role a father plays in a family as a role model. I especially admire those step-dads who are willing to step up and take on that daunting task.
1. LOVE YOUR WIFE PASSIONATELY .
The way a man treats his wife has a direct bearing on how his son will treat his future wife and the way a daughter will expect to be treated by her future husband. Men need to let their children see them demonstrating respect and love to their wife and mother of their children.
Also, keep children out of the battle when conflicts arise. At the same time allow them to see their parents make up. There is nothing wrong with kisses in the kitchen as long as it remains rated G.
2. MAKE FAMILY A PRIORITY
Children measure their value by the amount of time and attention their parents spend with them.
Our employers can be demanding and in today’s economy employment opportunities are limited.
The more demanding a job becomes, the higher priority we need to place on spending time with my family. Our schedules don’t lie. The things that I think are important are the things I spend the most time doing. Plan to spend time with your children. Pay the price to be at their performance or game.
I mentioned in the opening paragraph that selfishness has become epidemic in our society. It is this area, making my family a priority, where selfishness attacks the most. We are physically tired at the end of our week. We are mentally drained each evening. It’s hard to pay the appropriate amount of attention to our spouse and children. To win against the “selfishness monster” we need to place a higher priority on family activities than on me. As a person with two adult children I can attest there is plenty of time for me now that they are gone. Unfortunately, it’s time with them I desire.
3. DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN.
Discipline is one of the ways a father can communicate his love to his children. Here is what the Bible has to say about discipline and love:
for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, just as a father, the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:12 (HCSB)
and
for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and punishes every son whom He receives. Hebrews 12:6 (HCSB)
Discipline doesn’t have to involve physical pain, but it does have to demonstrate consequences to disobedience. The best discipline will involve character development. It is unwise to discipline a child out of anger. Take time to reflect on the offense and an appropriate response to their actions. Take the time to tell your children that when their privileges are taken away or when they have to be spanked, you are not trying to torment them. Remember, the purpose of discipline is for training and correction.
And fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 (HCSB)
4. BE AN ENCOURAGER
In the quarter of a century that I worked with teens, the biggest difference I notice among them was between those whose parents encouraged them and those whose parents ignored them. A father’s encouragement cannot be replaced by any other source. Dads in particular have a powerful impact on their children by giving or not giving appropriate praise.
As I’m writing this section, I’m reminded of a situation that occurred while I was coaching football for a living. One of my players was on the phone in my office and I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation as the boy asked his dad if he would be at the game that night. I remember the boy pleading, “But Dad, I’m starting tonight!” Here was one of the great moments of this young man’s short life and his father wasn’t going to be there to share it. There were other games, the player was good and played often throughout the rest of the season, but his father would never get that moment back.
5. BE A MAN OF INTEGRITY
In the quarter of a century that I worked with teens, the biggest difference I notice among them was between those whose parents encouraged them and those whose parents ignored them. A father’s encouragement cannot be replaced by any other source. Dads in particular have a powerful impact on their children by giving or not giving appropriate praise.
As I’m writing this section, I’m reminded of a situation that occurred while I was coaching football for a living. One of my players was on the phone in my office and I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation as the boy asked his dad if he would be at the game that night. I remember the boy pleading, “But Dad, I’m starting tonight!” Here was one of the great moments of this young man’s short life and his father wasn’t going to be there to share it. There were other games, the player was good and played often throughout the rest of the season, but his father would never get that moment back.
5. BE A MAN OF INTEGRITY
But let your word ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no.’ Anything more than this is from the evil one. Matthew 5:37 (HCSB)
Be a promise maker and a promise keeper. Also, men need to walk their talk. Our children see who we are behind closed doors and in public. What kind of example am I setting if I correct my child for stealing but bring packages of copy paper or ink cartridges home from work. Anything said about kindness and caring won't count in our children's eyes if they see us treating others badly.
FINAL NOTE:
With Father's Day happening this weekend, I want to say that my Dad is all of these things.
Thanks Dad for being a GREAT FATHER!
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